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I have been having real trouble in the past week and a half since I have been back from Crete finding time to do anything. I have a list of things I want to do over this summer – TV shows I want to watch, songs I want to learn, books I want to read – and not one of them is currently being done. I feel like all I do is go to work (I work at a restaurant come glampsite in Kent up to 5 days a week), come home briefly, eat, go to bed completely exhausted and repeat for 5 days. I’m spending my two days off every week seeing my friends at the moment, which I’m not complaining about at all, because I want to see them. It’s just that I haven’t seemed able to find time to get enough sleep, let alone anything else!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being all “woe is me” because I completely realise that there are so many people in the same position that I am in. I am trying to reach out, to find out if there is any way to remain motivated to get these things done.
My key problem (and my parents cannot know that I said this, as they will lord it over me forever) is my phone. I get home from work, or seeing friends, and I check notifications on my phone. Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, YouTube, the news, I will sit and stare at it all on the tiny screen until it is time to eat, and then once I have eaten I will return to it until it is time for bed. I don’t want to, and I try to make deals with myself – when you reach the part you’ve already seen, stop. At the end of this video, stop. I get to the point at which I should stop, and I decided that one more minute won’t hurt, and four hours later everyone has gone to sleep in the house and I’m fully clothed, make-up still on, sitting in the dark.
I give myself this time on my phone because I’m “tired”, but half the reason that I’m tired is because I was up on my phone the previous night until 11.30pm. Granted, I do work in the service industry with a boss who thinks sitting down once for five minutes on a 9 hour shift is an adequate “break”, and outlaws sitting down at any other time at all, but I know that if I got in and started work immediately, I would be able to get much more done. It doesn’t take any effort to watch a tv show.
The only reason I have time to write this post is because I got an unexpected day off – my shift was cancelled at half past seven the night before, no less – and I know that without this day off I would put off writing anything, because I was too tired.
For this, I have no solutions, only saying that I will attempt to get in, limit myself to ten minutes or so, and then get on. We shall see how it goes.